I miss my bras. It’s crazy to say it but I’ve been sporting nothing other than my Shock Absorbers for the last 11 days. You know the ones I mean. The the sports bra company with the bouncing boobs on their website.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re super supportive and suck The Girls tight against your chest dramatically improving ones posture. They’ve also got no underwire so they hold up my hooters and have been doing a great job keeping the pressure off my port-site.
I decided to give one of my favourite underwired undergarments a try this morning and there was way too much pressure coming down on my port-site for me to endure for a full shopping day. That familiar hot pain came back within minutes so I went back to the Shock Absorbers for their support and port-site protection.
That’s all well and good but I so wish I could put on a prettier protector for The Girls. Or at least something that both lifts AND separates. I’m so over my uniboob but the underwire is posing a problem.
See, I just got my Spring catalogue from Bravissimo (home of the best bra’s for big-boobed bitches) and I want like, 10 of them. It’s insane. I’ve got some pretty sexy stuff but I guess I’ll just have to hang on a little longer til my tummy’s ready.
Friday was my first day out and about on my own since my surgery. I woke up feeling pretty great. I got ready for the government job test I was heading to with little effort and only a slightly lighter head than usual. Since I still couldn’t do it myself, my grandmother played handmaid and helped me heave myself into my sports brassiere which provides the support I need to keep The Girls away from my incisions.
I was a little over-confident in my recovery and stupidly forgot my pain meds. I wasn’t feeling much pain when I left the house so I figured I’d be fine until after the test. Sadly, no less than 30 minutes into my 3-hour test, the gas pain returned to my neck and shoulder so severely I couldn’t finish it (not that I wanted to anyway…the job turned out to be something completely different than the ad).
Anyway, I got out of there and went to wait for the chariot that is public transpo.
I was concerned about the 1.5 hour ride back from Gatineau to the East End of Ottawa but quickly found that the bus was exactly the bumpy ride I needed. The bumps seemed to alleviate most of my gas pain in not time at all. But thank eff I was wearing my sports bra!!
I had some port-side pain which I suspect was a result of the bra pressing on my incision but it was very short-lived. I find that when I get up, if I press my hand over the top of the incision, it dulls the pain significantly. Otherwise, it feels a bit like a burning/tearing feeling which I’m not sure is because I THINK my port is pulling because I know it’s there or because it’s actually pulling a little because it’s still healing.
The gas pain of the afternoon subsided for a few hours but returned at bedtime. I still didn’t have my meds so it was two children’s chewable Gravol to the rescue. They tasted pretty great, considering. At least I didn’t have to crush them into shot glass half-full of water like I’ve been doing with the demerol. So, down the hatch they went and Gravol played the hero of the day by conquering the dreaded gas pain and knocking me out in less than 15 minutes flat.
Well, today was a much better day than yesterday. I woke up with a little more pep in my step and am feeling pretty fine. Slept through the night with the help of my good friend demerol and only had a tiny bit of gas pain. Even managed to roll over to my side for a short 10 minutes rest.
Had a nice chat with Aftercare Coordinator Michelle from Slimband today. I’ve been having some post-op issues that I just wanted to ask her about. The first is my exceedingly dark pee first thing in the morning. It’s fine throughout the day but seriously this stuff is florescent orange. In this past this would only happen when I’m super dehydrated but apparently this is normal.
I’ve also got some serious itching/stinging going on in my top incision. This little effer is the source of some great discomfort over the other three. Apparently since this is also normal I can look forward to this sensation sticking around for the next week or so. I seriously don’t know how I’m ever going to get a bra on.
Finally, and this is a bit of an overshare, but I’ve got a bit of a traffic jam going on in my rear garage. I seriously haven’t been to the bathroom properly in nearly 10 days. Since I’m an IBS sufferer I have experienced similar congestion but I was concerned so I asked the dear Michelle and this is also normal. Traffic should be speeding through in the next couple of days. Lucky me.
So, after my tantrum yesterday I decided to do some exploring for foods I’ll be able to get down once I’m through with the liquid/full liquid diet. I spent most of today on a an utterly fabulous website called TasteBook.com.
It’s a website that uses a search aggregator to search across popular recipe sites using one search box. You can also upload your own recipes to the site. The coolest part is that you can bookmark all of your favourite recipes then have them printed in your own personal cookbook! I just love it for gifts or for taking all of the recipes I’ve collected over the years and finally getting them bound into one beautifully printed book with MY name on it.
Since I can’t eat anything right now, I can spend some time putting together a collection of recipes for foods I CAN eat. Then I’ll always have them on hand. I guess food can still be fun after all.
Today I’m feeling pretty great. Slept through the night without waking up for more drugs and got out of bed with minimal effort. Stomach is still pretty tight and I can’t quite stand up straight just yet. Only had one demerol so far as still have some gas pain in my left shoulder and neck area but only low-mid level pain. Nothing like the first night thank goodness!
What feels very weird is that I can’t actually wear a bra. Now, for most women that wouldn’t really matter all that much but I’ve got some pretty huge hooters and they need their support. Especially since they’re putting a lot of pressure on my incisions. The main problem is that there’s an incision just below the spot right between my boobs in precisely the place my bra would sit against my chest.
The result is that I have to walk around the house (or anywhere else I’d like to go) holding onto my boobs so they don’t put pressure on my wounds. Needless to say, I’m not going anywhere until that changes! Unless of course, one of these Hand Bra’s (pictured) shows up in my mailbox in the next few hours…
To the people I know and love, I’m overweight. To just about everyone else in the Western world I’m a fat girl. When I’m shopping in a store that couldn’t possibly stock my size, I’m a fat girl. When I’m shopping for a bra in one of Canada’s largest (and I don’t mean cup size) lingerie retailers, I’m a fat girl. When a stranger sees me chowing down a cereal bar in public, I’m a fat girl. When I’m eating right, working out, and actually losing some of the junk in my trunk, I’m a fat girl.
It doesn’t matter that I’m shopping in the skinny store for some stylish accessories or a fashionable gift for a friend. Or that there’s only a handful of lingerie stores in the country with holders to support my boulders. Or that I’m devouring said cereal bar in an effort to recover from my 3 times per week 2-hour torture session with my hot shot celebrity trainer. I’m still a fat girl.
But I’ve never been one to let my physical fitness level stop me from climbing to the top of the social ladder. Or hate myself for my big body’s imperfections. Quite the opposite really. I’ve always maintained a large social circle and my youth was lightly peppered with my fair share of beautiful boys despite my size. Perhaps it’s because I’ve always had a larger than life personality to complement my curvy configuration. Or perhaps it’s been the oh-so-pretty face I’ve been hearing about all my life.
I’m not entirely sure what it’s been because my “pretty face” never stopped the old ladies from sending a scoff in my direction whilst squeezing into the seat beside me. My “pretty face” never made it any easier for the crabby carnie to squeeze my sizeable derriere into the seats on the Behemoth. My “pretty face” never stopped the kids from mooing at me on the Underground. It seems my sizeable appearance has always bothered everyone else but me.
That being said, not a day goes by that I don’t feel a scratch from the green monster at the thought of my smaller sidekicks and their frequent shopping expeditions through NYC and LDN. Oh, what I’d give to visit a city and pound the pavement with my girls without having to investigate the whereabouts of the most conveniently located big girls boutique. Hmph.
So, where am I going with this? Well, after spending the better part of two decades living the larger life I’ve decided to do something drastic. On April 16th, 2010 I’m having weight-loss surgery at the Slimband clinic in downtown Toronto and I can’t wait!
Friday marks Day 1 of the Pre-Op diet. It’s super strict! It’s designed to defeat my addiction to the bad stuff and help me take my portion sizes from super size to mini meals in preparation for the big day.